So I read your new story.

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I have some suggestions.  First, I thought you could kill the beginning.

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And the end…not really sure that’s working for me either.

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Were you trying to be funny here?

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Have you ever met anyone who actually talks like this?

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Why is this character so disconnected?  Were you abused as a child?  It’s okay, you can tell me.

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That’s about it, I guess.

dolores1

Working on anything else?

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